Uncluttering your life

From Gender and Tech Resources

Revision as of 09:40, 17 May 2015 by Lilith2 (Talk | contribs)

Are you working flat out just to stay afloat, and not getting anything "important" done? Does it seem like there aren't enough hours in the day, or money in the bank? Is your trash can full? Do you feel like being in a cluttered life? No time to spare? No time to unwind?

Determine the cause. It could be busy schedules getting in the way, temporary overload as an effect of previous choices made and actions taken, lack of motivation (what was labeled "important" may not be that important), not being able to let go of stuff (for various reasons), or it could be a lack of know-how in organisational skills. As a personal note: due to the nature of my work in IT, I was usually overorganised, and that was my main clutter cause: The mindset I needed for my work.

Case study: Uncluttering your life

There is so much written about cluttering and uncluttering, some of it may be useful for you, some of it may not. Just use what you need. Here I describe three steps in highly generalised form that worked for me, and afaik, for many others as well.

Methodology

  • Step 1 Make a decision to unclutter your life

Once I decided I’d had enough of mental clutter, I built a practice of removing myself from contexts that attempt to add to my mental clutter. I stopped associating with certain people, I changed my spending, I left my marriage, I downsized my "possessions".

I quit my paid work and didn't die (I’m not saying everyone needs to quit their job, but please understand that remembered and imagined experiences can be worse than when actually going through them). I changed expectations with my family and friends on what I did do and did not want to do, and again, I did not die.

I found some support for what I was doing from family and a friend. Everybody that was giving me shit for it (overt and covert attempts at crossing those lines I had just drawn in the sand) was made to walk the plank in my mind and I physically withdrew myself from that situation.

  • Step 2 Dealing with the past

And when you think that part is over, people from your past may reappear and attempt to unjustly write their karma in your book. Investigate and pull out the plank again if need be!

I have made mistakes yes, and I have been hard on myself for making those mistakes.

Some good questions to ask may be: Is what happened then relevant now? Was it even that serious? Am I blowing it out of proportion? Was that situation even in my control? Does what that person said actually have any validity or are they just trolling me to get me to react in for them familiar ways?

  • Step 3 Do discovery journeys

When learning something mechanical, like driving a car, at first you have to pay attention to the details of shifting gear, until you no longer have to. That happens when your body "knows". But it only "knows" for that (type) of car or gear shift. When driving another car, shifting gear may need your attention again.

This step of uncluttering is like that. For a while, monitor what happens closely in health, relationships, passion, growth, and contribution dimensions, until you no longer have to.

Stop what you are doing. Check how you feel. Trace what just happened and what might be related, what you ate, who you met, what was seen, heard, read, smelled, what meanings you made (and other meanings that can be made) and meanings about meanings made, what significance you assigned to the meanings made, and practice (other) responses (next time). Most of all, don't be hard on yourself when you do not. All that slack and understanding you gave others because you think people deserve it? Give it to yourself first.

Synthesis