Difference between revisions of "Wordsmithing"

Revision as of 11:43, 23 August 2015

Let grammar, syntax, semantics, punctuation, and spelling into your life! Even the most energetic and wonderful mess has to be turned into sentences...

And, But and However

Do not start sentences with conjunctions such as And, But and However. According to English teachers everywhere, these should appear ONLY in the middle of a sentence, not shamefully whipped out at its beginning. That says no-thing about flaunting it as a title.

And, whenever someone says anything and you wish to add your 2 cents to the discussion, by all means, always start your sentence with "But ..." to make sure you wipe out everything anybody said before your "But ..." sentence entered the scene. "However ..." is a good alternative but not as effective as "But ..." at making others feel unheard (and therefore increasingly unwilling to listen to your additional information).

Once Upon A Time

It was the Best of Times, it was the Worst of Times, it was the Age of Wisdom, it was the Era of Foolishness, it was the Epoch of Belief, it was the Time of Incredulity, it was the Season of Light, it was the Aeon of Darkness, it was the Spring of Decolonisation, it was the Winter of Despair ... In short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its uproariest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the inflated degree of comparison only.

An important feature of a sentence is the reaction of the writer to some reality. In declarative sentences, this active part of the writer might be said to be manifesting a certain assertiveness.

A closer examination of assertive sentences shows an overwhelming majority to contain two basic content elements: a statement and an element about which a statement is made. The element about which something is stated may be said to be the basis of the utterance or the theme, and what is stated about the basis is the nucleus of the utterance or the theme. Old news, true. That a declarative sentence can be perceived to contain these two basic elements was recognised long ago.

However, less known is that these elements are given a different meaning in psychology. The theme is often called the psychological subject and the rheme the psychological predicate. And in a narration stream the order is usually simple: the theme of the next sentence usually being the rheme of the sentence before it.

"Once upon a time there was a Queen. And the Queen had three daughters. The daughters ..."

"And the Queen had three daughters" has two parts: "the Queen" (basis) and "had three daughters" (nucleus).

But what is the situation at the beginning of a narration?

When we start to write about something which cannot yet be referred to as a known fact, then from the complex of notions included in the statement we anticipate one as given, as a notion that naturally presents itself and we make it the starting point.

It may be interesting to examine the beginnings of different narrations from this point of view, for further examination of our gut level processing.

Making Total Sense

Through the fathomless deeps of space swims the star turtle Great A’Tuin, bearing on its back the four giant elephants who carry on their shoulders the mass of the Discworld. A tiny sun and moon spin around them, on a complicated orbit to induce seasons, so probably nowhere else in the multiverse is it sometimes necessary for an elephant to cock a leg to allow the sun to go past ...

Choices

The underminers guide mentions the dangers of using words like progress and choice because they are often fake choices while re-inforcing disconnection predicates. Many words have been arrogated and appropriated by the machine. Words like sustainability, resilience and eco are all in use for greenwashing.

And just like the in the guide mentioned sharing real knowledge, there seem to be real choices: Do we now stop using these words altogether, or reinforce more connected predicates by using these words more congruently (depending on context and who we communicate with for what purpose)? That could be like take back the words?

Note: Make that singular, take back the word, and expect trolls believing religiously in the word (whatever the word is).

Creating a fake press release

For press releases the entertainment relies on it being accepted as a real press release by news outlets, IOW in how convincing it is. Study a few real press releases.

Anatomy of a press release

Keep it to one page (400-600 words):

Logo: Often found on releases distributed via mail, e-mail or a newswire service. Otherwise, omit.
Headline: Usually designed to be short and grab attention.
Subheader: Not always present. A descriptive expansion on the headline.
Place line: Identifies where the story is coming from.
Date line: Date of the release.
Lead paragraph: Often includes who, what, when, where, why. Can include url's.
Body: Typically 3 to 5 paragraphs, most important information first, making it a so-called inverted pyramid.
Boilerplate: Organisational who and what.
Contact information: Newswire requirement.
End mark: ### or -end-.

man rtfm

For a recombination like this there is no need to make it convincing as a real man page, and the entertainment relies on making fun of overly reduced (context-less) statements and overly structured manual pages.

NAME

RTFM – tool to stimulate learning and improve workflow.

SYNOPSIS

RTFM is used to hit others with a lightning bolt.

DESCRIPTION

RTFM refers to the manual pages (or “man” pages, after the command used to display them) contained in *nix variants and has mutated to refer to reading any help pages or FAQs.

We lament over and over about how no one reads anymore, but we are also often just as guilty. Victims of our own hubris and overconfidence. In our own minds, we’re somehow annoyed by the very job we are doing. Help people solve problems. But sometimes it just touches the nerve, especially in situations where you’ve already explained how to fix it, and even more especially when you’ve already explained how to fix it to the same person.

It’s a slippery slope. Of course you always want to help, but at the same time, if you’re always there and available, it will lead to a condition where the user/junior admin will always skip figuring things out for themselves and just come straight to you.

There is no shame in reading. However, roughly 75% of IT is comprised of men. And it’s a pretty common perception that men don’t read (or ask for) directions.

noun vs verb

While the word “read” is a verb, the entire acronym is often used as a verb as well. Ex:

How do I set up pf to do ALTQ?

Dumbass, man it.

omg, *cry*

You’re lucky all I did was RTFM you.

Theo sets mode : +b *!n00b@*

A common alternative to RTFM is to stop using Linux and move out of your parents’ basement.

Some critics assert that frequent users of the term are simply expressing elitism against the newcomers, thus driving them away without providing any tips or helpful suggestions. This is especially true when RTFM is used without even specifying which manual their correspondent should be reading. In the absence of a manual, one may be advised to Lurk Moar, see lurkmoar(8)

FILES

In its normal application RTFM uses no files and is words spoken (or written) only. If applied via email may contain a link to the manual in the environment and the odd meme image. Such meme images are also in use on twitter ever since the update_with_media function was added to the twitter API. If applied on a forum, many users and files may be affected; see butthurt(8).

http://readthefuckingmanual.com/

http://www.pophangover.com/4641/the-official-internet-butthurt-complaint-form/

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=writing+effective+manuals

ENVIRONMENT VARIABLES

Manual

SEE ALSO

lurkmoar(8), butthurt(8), tldr(8)

BUGS

You may be required to look things up and be able to fix things your self eventually.

EXAMPLES

It’s 10:30AM. The black themed firefox browser is about to stare back as a ping announces an incoming message over jabber to our fearless gurl.

“Hey! Sorry to bother you, but how do I …”

Our fearless gurl’s eyes roll deep into the back of her eye sockets as she emits a loud, exasperated sigh. She knows it’s in the manual – she helped write it. But no one seems to read it. She feels her efforts have been wasted.

But today, our fearless gurl has a plan. Through the miracles of modern science and some quick searches online, she has found a secret formula that would merge her mind into anyone that emails or tweets or pokes over jabber to ask questions. They would be under her control and would instantly think to look for the answers themselves. All she needs is a bolt of lightning to complete the transformation … the surrounding environment is already crackling …

“RTFM !!!!!”, she said.

RESTRICTIONS

Authoritarians and exceptionalists considering themselves very important and too high up to ever having to lift a finger may take a dim view of overenthusiastic application of this tool.

AUTHOR

While overcoming the RTFM syndrome remains a mystery, this man page was assembled from various sources by anonymii. She disclaims responsibility for any actions inspired by this man page.

HISTORY

Although largely unsubstantiated, usage of RTFM may have begun as a military lingo during World War II, when the phrase “Read The Field Manual” became a staple expression among American soldiers in response to basic questions asked by new enlistees. First introduced in 1939, US Army Field Manuals instructed all the vital, necessary skills for a soldier, from how to fold your clothes properly to how to toss a grenade inside the enemy’s tank. By the early 1950s the phrase RTFM was in common use by radio and radar technicians in the US Armed Forces. Operators frequently did not check for simple faults before asking questions; for example, checking whether a power switch was on, a fuse had blown or a power cord had become disconnected. A common response would be, “Did you check the oh en oh ef ef switch (On/Off). RTFM appeared in print in 1979 on the Table of Contents page of the LINPACK Users’ Guide in the form “R.T.F.M.” — Anonymous, suggesting that it was already well established. Cleve Moler has since revealed that a visit to Argonne National Laboratory by Tektronix Software Manager Ned Thanhouser (grandson of Edwin Thanhouser) during the development of MATLAB led to the anonymous quote. The first Urban Dictionary entry for RTFM was submitted on November 13th, 2003, although its usage has been documented in Slashdot comments as early as in March 1999. Just yonder, Manual was struggling to make his way through the foxy forest behind Fucking’s place. Manual had severely hurt his love handle during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Manuals suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the The. One by one they latched on to Manual. Already weakened from his injury, Manual yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Manuals running off with his The. But then God came down with His charismatic smile and restored Manual’s The. Feeling pleased, God smote the Manuals for their injustice. Then He got in His best-in-its-so-called-‘class’ sedan and jetted away with the fortitude of half a million man-eating capybaras running from a oversized pack of 3-legged wallabies. Manual danced with joy when he saw this. His The was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in four minutes his favorite TV show, Fucking, was going to come on (followed immediately by ‘When 3-legged wallabies meet hand grenade’). Manual was excited. And so, everyone except Fucking and a few rusty razor blade-toting long-haired sea monkeys lived blissfully happy, forever after.

ANTITHESIS

The antithesis of RTFM is TL;DR which stands for “too long; didn’t read.”, see tldr(8)

If some asshole presents to you a long text and you still need to read it, you can incrementally read it with SuperMemo. What this entails is you mince and flashcardize the shit out of the text until it gets obliterated and you can’t recognize it. It’s like throwing the piece of e-paper in acid. The TL;DR is no moar.

FUTURE DIRECTIONS

None or a new type of hominids in around 5 million years.

SEE ALSO

STFW (“Search The Fucking Web”), GIYF (“Google Is Your Friend”), LMGTFY (“Let Me Google That For You”), RTBM (“Read The Bloody Manual”—In some countries, e.g., the UK and Australia, this is a fractionally more polite alternative with identical meaning), RTFA (“Read The Fucking/Featured Article”—common on news forums such as Fark.com and Slashdot, where using “TFA” instead of “the article” has become a meme). Also see palindrome and underminers resources below.

Resources

Palindromes

A Chronotope of Revolution: The Palindrome from the Perspective of Cultural Semiotics http://www.realchange.org/pal/semiotic.htm
Evolutionary history of novel genes on the tammar wallaby Y chromosome: Implications for sex chromosome evolution http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3290785/
Lost Y Chromosome Genes Found on Autosomes http://www.the-scientist.com/?articles.view/articleNo/43078/title/Lost-Y-Chromosome-Genes-Found-on-Autosomes/ (WTF? mentioning Old World monkeys, New World monkeys, and apes :D)
Male Bullshit Stories: Porn (Part V) https://trustyourperceptions.wordpress.com/ (And I know a lot of men who do not take pleasure in hurting women and animals. KEEP MEN LIKE THAT!!!!! and do not take the abusive kind seriously. AT ALL!!!!!)

Other times

For the Aymara people living in the Andes, the past lies ahead and the future lies behind http://www.cogsci.ucsd.edu/~nunez/web/articles/Taipei%20Times%20-%20archives.pdf
In Australia, the timeline of the Pormpuraaw, a remote Aboriginal community, runs along the east-west axis. The past is east. Time for the Pormpuraaw flows from left to right if they are facing south, right to left if they are facing north, towards the body if they are facing east, and away from the body if they are facing west. https://tylertretsven.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/time-and-space-in-pormpuraaw/
In China, Mandarin speakers sometimes represent time along a vertical axis, with the past above and the future below http://psych.stanford.edu/~lera/papers/mandarin-time-2010.pdf
Time for the Yupno flows uphill and is not even linear http://anthropology.net/2012/06/01/the-uphill-climb-of-time-for-the-yupno-of-papua-new-guinea/
How Languages Construct Time http://www-psych.stanford.edu/~lera/papers/language-time.pdf

Language creation

Language Creation Kit v2 http://www.zompist.com/kit.html

Language examples

Scripts of the Ancient World http://www.ancientscripts.com
Unifon Alphabet http://www.omniglot.com/writing/unifon.htm
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan http://www.lisasee.com/snow-flower-and-the-secret-fan/

Measurement conversion

Online Unit Conversion (converting modern units of measurement into measurement units no longer in general use)

Underminers

Chapter Three – Who Are The Underminers? http://underminers.org/the-book/chapter-3/ (Propagating the message)
Chapter Nine – Recreating Community (Part 1) http://underminers.org/the-book/chapter-9/chapter-9-part-1/
Chapter Nine – Recreating Community (Part 2) http://underminers.org/the-book/chapter-9/chapter-9-part-2/

@@ Line 183: / Line 183: @@
 === Palindromes ===
 * A Chronotope of Revolution: The Palindrome from the Perspective of Cultural Semiotics http://www.realchange.org/pal/semiotic.htm
+* Evolutionary history of novel genes on the tammar wallaby Y chromosome: Implications for sex chromosome evolution http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3290785/
 * Lost Y Chromosome Genes Found on Autosomes http://www.the-scientist.com/?articles.view/articleNo/43078/title/Lost-Y-Chromosome-Genes-Found-on-Autosomes/ (WTF? mentioning Old World monkeys, New World monkeys, and apes :D)
 * Male Bullshit Stories: Porn (Part V) https://trustyourperceptions.wordpress.com/ (And I know a lot of men who do not take pleasure in hurting women and animals. KEEP MEN LIKE THAT!!!!! and do not take the abusive kind seriously. AT ALL!!!!!)