Revision as of 11:34, 17 May 2015

Are you working flat out just to stay afloat, and not getting anything "important" done? Does it seem like there aren't enough hours in the day, or money in the bank? Is your trash can full? Do you feel like being in a cluttered life? No time to spare? No time to unwind?

Determine the cause. It could be busy schedules getting in the way, temporary overload as an effect of previous choices made and actions taken, lack of motivation (what was labeled "important" may not be that important to you), not being able to let go of stuff (for various reasons), or it could be a lack of know-how in organisational skills.

As a personal note: due to the nature of my work in IT I was usually overorganised, and that was my main clutter cause: The mindset of overorganisation and super-rationality I needed for my work.

Case study: Uncluttering your life

There is so much written about cluttering and uncluttering [1], some of it may be useful for you, some of it may not. Just use what you need. Here I describe three steps for uncluttering in highly generalised form that worked for me, and afaik for many others as well.

Methodology

• Step 1 Make a decision to unclutter your life

Once I decided I’d had enough of mental clutter, I built a practice of removing myself from contexts that attempt to add to my mental clutter. I stopped associating with certain people, I changed my spending, I left my marriage, I downsized my "possessions".

I quit my paid work and didn't die (I’m not saying everyone needs to quit their job, but please understand that remembered and imagined experiences can be worse than when actually going through them). I changed expectations with my family and friends on what I did do and did not want to do, and again, I did not die.

I found some support for what I was doing from family and a friend. Everybody that was giving me shit for it (overt and covert attempts at crossing those lines I had just drawn in the sand) was made to walk the plank in my mind.

• Step 2 Rewrite your rules

All of us live with inner rules about how to live our lives. Some of those come from our image makers (parents, family), some from our teachers, our (school) friends, and later acquiantances and experiences. Beliefs and rules can act like post hypnotic suggestions (spell casting) and filter our experience of reality. Some indigenous call those "pretender voices". Some examples are:

• "I don't think I can ...."
• "I must make others happy"
• "It doesn't matter ..."
• "You can't make me ..."
• "It's not fair ..."
• "I'm a [label] if I ..."
• "What now?"
• "It's [label] fault!"
• ...

Alter the spell you are casting on yourself:

• State your rule
• Choose the most significant verb or noun in your rule
• Choose at least two words that rhyme with that word
• Choose a word that's opposite
• Choose a freely associated word that has nothing whatsoever to do with the words in your rule
• Restate the original rule, substituting the new words and read the rules out loud to yourself
• How is that old rule doing?

When learning something mechanical, like driving a car or changing a rule, at first you have to pay attention to the details of shifting gear, until you no longer have to. That happens when your body "knows". But it only "knows" for that (type) of car or gear shift. When driving another car, shifting gear may need your attention again. This is like that. For a while, monitor what happens closely in health, relationships, passion, growth, and contribution dimensions, and make changes until you no longer have to.

• Step 3 Dealing with the past and others

Something happens. Trace what just happened and what might be related, what you ate, who you met, what was seen, heard, read, smelled, what meanings you made (and what other possible meanings can be made) and meanings about meanings made, what significance you assigned to the meanings made, and practice (other) responses in a safe setting or the next time the situation seems to reoccur. And don't be hard on yourself when you do not do that next time. All that slack and understanding you gave others because you think it's okay to make mistakes? Give it to yourself now.

People from your past may reappear and may attempt to unjustly write their karma in your book. Investigate and pull out the plank again if need be!

Some good questions to ask when people seem to try to write karma in your book may be: Is what happened then relevant now? Was it even that serious? Was that situation even in my control? Does what that person just say actually have any validity or are they just trolling me to get me to react in for them familiar and comfortable ways?

Synthesis

Focus on your priorities, make efficient use of your time on this planet, choose a design for your life that allows for relaxing and replenishment, and make it so.

References

[1] 27 Great Tips to Keep Your Life Organized http://zenhabits.net/27-great-tips-to-keep-your-life-organized/